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“[Friendship] begins with something quieter: a conversation, a shared moment, a willingness to see one another not as strangers but as fellow travelers through the human experience.” — The United Nations
In 2019, I was managing the volunteer program at one of World Relief’s U.S. offices. I found myself sitting in a volunteer’s living room with a small group of women from around the world. We sipped our coffee, commenting politely (and a little awkwardly) on the baked goods and interior decorating. But then, a woman from Syria pulled out her phone. She showed us a picture of herself, wrapped in a beautiful gown, on her wedding day.
In that moment, she invited us to see her more clearly and know her more deeply — she extended a gesture of friendship that sparked a lively conversation about home, traditions and life’s most important moments. The English was faltering, but with photos and good humor, we drew closer across cultures, languages and life experiences.
Every year on July 30, International Day of Friendship reminds us of the power of moments like these.
How to Be a Friend This International Day of Friendship
Established by the UN General Assembly in 2011, International Day of Friendship honors “the idea that friendship between people, countries, cultures and individuals can inspire peace efforts and build bridges between communities.”
I don’t know about you, but it seems like we could use some bridge building today. In fact, in this year’s International Day of Friendship reflection, the UN states, “This year, as the world faces profound ruptures — between nations, within societies, even within families — the call to friendship is not sentimental. It’s essential. It’s about reaching across what breaks us and daring to believe in something better.”
For decades, World Relief has been helping U.S.-based volunteers and churches draw closer to their refugee and immigrant neighbors. While these relationships often start from a place of need as families begin rebuilding their lives after displacement, our hope is that they never end there. We long to see neighbors of diverse cultural backgrounds growing in mutually transformative friendships. People like Julie and Amani or the Rogers and their friends from Ukraine.
So this International Day of Friendship, we’re sharing five tips on how you can be a friend to your refugee and immigrant neighbors today.
1. Embrace Awkwardness
There’s no way around it — cultural, language and even personal differences can feel awkward. You may not know what to say or do. What’s normal to your refugee and immigrant friends might feel strange to you and vice versa. But for newcomers navigating a new country and language, that discomfort can be even more disorienting. They may feel like core parts of themselves, like intelligence, humor and personality, get lost in translation. But that doesn’t mean they’re not there!
You can be a friend by just being with your neighbors through that process. Don’t let the discomfort of a language or cultural barrier become a barrier to friendship. Allowing room for awkwardness in order to overcome it, together, can actually strengthen friendships. It can even lead to shared memories and funny stories down the road.
2. Communicate Creatively
While training new volunteers, the most common question I got was, “How will we communicate?” This is an important and valid concern. Communication and sharing of ourselves is key to building a friendship.
Fortunately, you already have creative solutions at your fingertips:
- Translation tools: Apps like Google Translate and DeepL have come a long way. While many language teachers encourage learners to not lean on these too much, they are still a great way to communicate among friends.
- Pictures and props: Like the woman I shared about, pictures, videos, keepsakes, household objects and more can all open up meaningful and fun conversations about anything from family to food to hobbies and interests.
- Games and conversation starters: Simple games can be a fun way to let guards down and engage friends of all ages. If someone is just starting to learn English, card games like UNO or Go Fish can not only break the ice, but also help language learners practice colors, numbers and simple phrases. For those whose English skills are stronger, World Relief’s conversation cards, “Let’s Talk About It: 50 Conversations on Home, Belonging and Loving Your Neighbor,” are a great way to connect more deeply. Download our printable cards, here.
3. Share Hospitality
For millennia and across world cultures, people have gathered in homes and around tables to share in hospitality and fellowship. In fact, this is a common theme in the Bible, where we see believers breaking bread together, and Jesus even inviting himself into the homes of others.
Often, we have this idea that hospitality has to be an elaborate meal or event. But simply inviting others into our homes and allowing ourselves to be invited into theirs can form strong bonds of friendship. Don’t overthink hospitality. It can be as simple as making sandwiches for lunch or inviting your new neighbors to watch your favorite sports team in their next game.
4. Enjoy the Everyday
Building on the idea of hospitality, friendships can blossom in the everyday. Do your kids have a dance recital or T-ball game coming up? Invite your new friends! Are you making your weekly Costco run? Offer to take your friends along!
These seemingly simple moments can introduce your friends to important parts of American culture, and it gives you an opportunity to connect around a shared activity. Simply living life alongside one another becomes something memorable and meaningful.
5. Seek Mutual Transformation
However you end up engaging with refugee and immigrant friends, consider how your time together is mutually transformative. When someone is new and needs help navigating language or culture, it’s easy to settle into roles of “helper” and “helped.” Newcomers often have very real needs and are blessed by people who come alongside them to help. But if you’re building a friendship, the relationship can’t end there.
That’s why we talk a lot about mutual transformation. This acknowledges that in true friendship, everyone grows and learns from one another. What might your new neighbors have to teach you about living in community? What can you learn from them about their cultural values and norms? How does their unique individuality, as co-image bearers of God, change and grow you?
A volunteer once told me about how he was shaped by one of his newcomer friends. He had become known among the refugee community as the person to call if you needed help. He drove people to appointments, helped replace brakelights on cars and more. One day, a young woman asked if he could come to her home. The woman lived with and cared for her ill mother and often felt isolated.
When the volunteer arrived, he was offered tea and they chatted for a bit. He kept waiting for the young woman to share what she needed help with. Finally, he asked her outright.
Her answer totally surprised him — “This is what I need.”
The volunteer was so focused on what he could do for her, that he totally missed that she just wanted someone to be with her. She deeply challenged how he understood friendships and the power of presence. Not unlike Jesus’ lesson to Martha when she complained that her sister, Mary, sat at Jesus’ feet rather than helping with all the household needs, the young woman was teaching this volunteer that sometimes just being together was the most important thing.
How Will You Be a Friend?
At the end of the day, there’s no perfect “how to be a friend” plan. But often, friendships of all kinds begin with a cup of coffee, an exchanged memory, a shared errand or the simple decision to sit and stay awhile. When we make room for one another, strangers can become neighbors, and neighbors can become friends who shape each other’s lives.
This International Day of Friendship, consider one small step you can take toward a refugee or immigrant neighbor. Extend an invitation. Share a meal. Learn their story. And come ready not only to give, but also to receive. Together, we can help build communities where every person is seen, connected and supported on their journey toward flourishing.
If you’re ready to take a step towards friendship alongside refugees and immigrants in your community, learn more about volunteer opportunities across the U.S.
Kelly Hill is a Content Manager at World Relief. She previously served as Volunteer Services Manager at World Relief Triad in North Carolina. With a background in International and Intercultural Communication, she is passionate about the power of story to connect people of diverse experiences.