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“Uncertainty.” This seems to be the common descriptor of this present immigration-focused situation pulsating throughout America. This pervasive mindset can be understood as flowing from a deeper emotional wellspring called ‘grief’ (the reaction(s) to the separation and/or loss of someone or something of significance).
For an immigrant who has acquired this very specific “refugee” status, grief can be abounding. The qualifications for becoming a refugee are met only after: being forced-migrated from his/her country of origin; being victimized by some expression of violence, persecution, and/or discrimination; making application through the United Nations and then qualifying after a vetting process of between 1 ½ to 3 year duration.
This cumulative grief experience that is bubbling-up from various pools of separation and loss often leaves the individual without the social permission to speak or to be heard. This frozen state of uncertainty simply allows for the opportunities of many of those surprised emotional reactions to separations to raise to the surface. Even as these grieving reactions are subjectively felt and acknowledged by the bearer, an acquaintance or family member may only witness a pervasive silence and social dis-engagement. Refugees from very different countries (like Ukraine, Afghanistan, Sudan, Venezuela, Myanmar, Haiti, Syria, etc. etc.,) can carry very similar grief-challenges and struggles; all emanating from some significant separations and/or losses.
A few of the common underpinnings of grief experienced in the refugee’s journey can be exacerbated by the following conditions:
- The sudden, and often unexpected departure from a country of origin. Along with this forced migration comes the separation from friends and often relatives; leaving behind a home, a place of employment and activities of comfort and recreation. Some consequences of this sudden separation are often the loss of valuable documents (birth certificate, proof of education, photographs, and other personal identity documents) as well as personal belongings (clothing, books, favorite gifts/momentous, etc.)
- The cross-border entrance into another country…where time and travel cease to be active. Most of the 130 million individuals, presently experiencing a forced separation based on political or natural disaster disruptions from around the world, are ‘simply existing’ in over-crowded displacement camps that tend to supply the bare-minimum for human needs (…wishing we could say “for only some of the time”). So, in this state of existence, now begins a new and added experience of grief. As one sits in this displacement limbo, there is no clarity of where you are going or when you might be leaving. The average ‘waiting period’ until some departure becomes a reality is 10 years! (Some would define this as cruel and unusual punishment)
- The separation from a meaningful future…left to ‘exist’ in an environment of hopelessness and helplessness now being separated from one’s dreams and expectations that may have been carried and embraced since childhood. Experiencing the separation from one’s plans toward physical, mental and/or spiritual self-improvements; seeking areas of growth and development that may serve to improve one’s self-worth, self-respect and the sense of dignity can be frustrating and serve to agitate the often hidden grief reactions. Even after the long-awaiting period within a displacement camp, there can be an additional 1 ½ to 3 years of vetting one’s background and creating the needed documentation that follows one’s application to secure a refugee status; casting some uncertainty for a favorable future. Even the separation from like-minded fellow victims of displacement in these camps can generate and complicate one’s unique separation anxiety and grief reactions.
- The arrival and beginnings of resettlement…into a new and strange country can often re-awake the significance of those persons, places, and things one has separated from and left behind. New cultural experiences can remind one of the precious and meaningful cultural experiences ‘of the past’: separations from familiar sounds and sights from a ‘time and place’ that can be now viewed as a defined sense of loss…a place and time that might never be re-lived. Adding to this distress is the historical “Golden Door” (etched into our Statue of Liberty: “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free…I lift my lamp beside the Golden Door”) that is presently locked-shut with an inferred ‘not welcomed’ message; this for the first time since the US Refugee program was established in 1980. This barrier of entrance into the United States serves to indefinitely extend the separation of these family members seeking a future place of safety and co-existence. Once again, time & travel to be able to “breathe free” is relegated to a frozen and hopeless state of inactivity.
- Anticipated Deportation. Although a designated refugee (who was admitted following a United Nations application and subsequent vetting process) is positioned on a legal pathway to pursue employment, residency, and US. Citizenship, there are other “refugees” in possible jeopardy that were forced-migrated and subjected to a much quicker vetting process; these admitted with a specific immigration status: Humanitarian Parole, Temporary Protective Status, etc. Those ‘refugees’ falling under these specific criteria are now emotionally battling an ‘anticipatory grief’, a possibility that they may be separated and deported back into an unsafe environment.
The ‘Elephant in the Room’ at this present time of refugee uncertainty is the unidentified and unacknowledged grief now being carried in the hearts and souls of those wanting to come or those recently arrived into America. As we compassionately listen and walk along side this ‘Elephant’, we can engage and establish the connection via our empathetic understanding that recognizes the various grief reactions (sadness, worry, fear, confusion, isolation, anger, denial, etc.) of these significant separations and losses…electing to engage and bring some meaningfulness for ‘such a time as this.’
Uncertainty does not have to be a predictor of despair but can be a signal and prompter of purpose; to make some ‘sense of the madness’ and choose to engage and manifest compassion in an effort to help bear and possibly lessen the distress of a grieving neighbor.
Watch for updates on a grief workshop in June here in the Tri-Cities, co-hosted by World Relief.
About the Author: Robb Rennix is the Community Engagement Specialist at World Relief Tri-Cities.