American culture is obsessed with self-care. If you look at social media, you’ll see this fixation include the double-shot, no foam, extra whip, cinnamon dolce latte, the bleary-eyed morning shower, the 15-step skin care routine, and the hike to a mountain meadow. But, are all of these really “self-care”? And if not, which is it?
Self-care are actions that sustain your physical, emotional, mental, relational, and spiritual well-being and provide a buffering effect against the stresses of this life. Self-care should not be a fleeting indulgence, nor should it be a basic human necessity. Its effects should linger and settle into you holistically. It should enlarge and deepen your sense of belonging. Ultimately, it should increase your resilience.
A well-studied aspect of psychology and human development, resilience is a consistent pattern of positive adaptation in the face of present or past adversity. It is both an inherent trait and a skill that you can cultivate. Self-care is an important aspect of building resilience, but unfortunately, a consumeristic culture has commercialized and trivialized it.
For today, as you think about self-care, consider the smallest sphere of resilience: yourself. What makes you, you? This is a very difficult question! You have a personality, a unique worldview, habits of internal self-talk, a cultural heritage, hobbies, valuable skills, and dreams for the future. There are myriad aspects to your identity, but setting aside time to care for and connect with different facets of yourself can increase your resiliency over time.
Overwhelmed? Start with something easy, like your hobbies. What is something that gives you a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction? Have you neglected an old skill or pastime that used to bring you joy? Start there. For Mary, choosing personal resiliency means gardening. “I really enjoy it more than anything…if I stayed here [in the United States] five years without a plot to grow anything, I would say, ‘No, I am sick,’ because it’s a part of me.”
What part of you do you need to care for?
Jerusha English has been a part of the Resiliency Department at World Relief Western Washington for over two years. Originally from Oregon, she spent a decade as a science educator for underserved students in Fort Worth, Texas. Her experience ranges from sheltered ESL instruction to advanced Chemistry. She now overseas our Equity & Sustainability Internship Program and develops curriculum for Resiliency Programs, with a focus on our environmental education programming.